Dysfunctional Relationship Beliefs
· Holding these beliefs leads to communicate in destructive ways.
· Unfortunately, I have held the belief that my partner was “incapable of change.”
· Instead of talking the problem over with my partner, decided that there was nothing they could do.
· This proved to be foolish as the tensions only bottled up and created a problem in the future.
· I think I learned this from my brothers when we all lived in the same house. I would constantly tell them to throw their garbage away or take care of their dishes and they would not listen.
· I began to believe that they were “incapable of change” and so must other people.
Maintaining a Mutual Identity
· Definition of family includes “a group of people who maintain and create a mutual identity.”
· Personally, my family has created and maintained a mutual identity.
· We follow numerous family rituals.
· For instance, we attend Christmas Eve mass every year as a family, followed by a steak dinner and opening presents from one another.
· We also share family stories.
· My family is big into sports, so many of the old stories about my parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles all relate to sports.
· We maintain our identity through our family rules.
· My parents institutionalize strict rules for everyone living at the house to follow.
· These rules include: chores, curfews, and general rules about being a good hearted person.
· Throughout all these rules, rituals and stories, we are able to maintain our family identity.
· Holding these beliefs leads to communicate in destructive ways.
· Unfortunately, I have held the belief that my partner was “incapable of change.”
· Instead of talking the problem over with my partner, decided that there was nothing they could do.
· This proved to be foolish as the tensions only bottled up and created a problem in the future.
· I think I learned this from my brothers when we all lived in the same house. I would constantly tell them to throw their garbage away or take care of their dishes and they would not listen.
· I began to believe that they were “incapable of change” and so must other people.
Maintaining a Mutual Identity
· Definition of family includes “a group of people who maintain and create a mutual identity.”
· Personally, my family has created and maintained a mutual identity.
· We follow numerous family rituals.
· For instance, we attend Christmas Eve mass every year as a family, followed by a steak dinner and opening presents from one another.
· We also share family stories.
· My family is big into sports, so many of the old stories about my parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles all relate to sports.
· We maintain our identity through our family rules.
· My parents institutionalize strict rules for everyone living at the house to follow.
· These rules include: chores, curfews, and general rules about being a good hearted person.
· Throughout all these rules, rituals and stories, we are able to maintain our family identity.